Inspirational ~ Courageous ~ Graceful

This is me when I was about 7 or 8... I loved my Aunt Melanie so unconditionally even then. She was so many important roles in my life and because of her I know I'm the women I am today. We we're only 10 years apart in age so she is about 17 in this picture. My parents had us very young and partied all the time and we're not around much but my aunt Mel was a constant in our young lives. She was always so Hilarious... very child like and playful and so much fun to have around... She taught me so many things and although I don't remember many good things about my childhood my memories of her always make me smile and laugh. her and my aunt Heather (who was not my real aunt biologically) who knew?? she was living at my nan's and she was there just as much as my aunt Mel... They we're best friends and my aunty Heather was a huge role in my young life as well. They would babysit Korinna and I all the time (We we're Rotten) I remember reminiscing with aunt Mel when she visited me two summers ago about the time that they "Timed themselves out" in our bunk beds and acted like whinny brats demanding PB & J sandwiches and throwing temper tantrums for over an hour just to show us what we looked and sounded like. Michael Jackson's Thriller brings me so much joy because one night babysitting us we all dressed up like the walking dead and my dining room at the time was floor to ceiling tiled mirrors and we re enacted the music video together. Hall and Oats will forever make me think of her we listened to them blaring and singing along all the time with her. They thought it would be funny one night to get me drunk for my first time with Kahlua....I love that shit!! She was my son's t-ball coach and let him join the team at just 3 yrs old... She gave him his nick name "Little Fry" Mc Donalds had sponsored their shirts. I moved in with her when I was 12 and lived there for a year and learned so much then about Family.. She had her 2 boys and loved them like nothing else in the world existed.

 

Aunty Heather & Aunty Mel... Created their own Gang called "Don't Fuck with Bitches" Gang
I'm not sure who was the the worse influence in the firendship??? Crazy Bitch's!!!

 



This is my Beautiful Aunty Heather

 

 

My aunt loved life and was the centre of the party... She was the glue that held our family together and was my rock. It has not quite been a year yet since she lost her 11 year battle with breast cancer. I think of her so often that I forget that she's not just that phone call away to bitch to or get advice from or just have someone to bounce my thoughts, ideas and frustrations to. She never judged me but had the best advice and listening skills and although I don't have an older sister that's exactly what she was... \she was also the Mother I wish my mom could have been and the friend I could always rely on. I have a hard time absorbing that the next 40 to 50 years will be with my memories of her only with thoughts of her always creeping in and the flood gates opening up when the reality of her no longer here with us hits me like a tsunami. My life will forever be changed because she is no longer here with me but I am blessed and grateful that my life has been forever changed because of the time I had her in my life with me.

This is 11 years ago... the week before my husband & I moved from Toronto to Saskatchewan for a better life for our family. My aunt Mel was in remission here and had only one breast as the other one was taken from her with Cancer... She never let the cancer get the best of her and her hilarious personality never wavered. My aunt was a very tiny women and never had large breasts to begin with and my husband would tease her and call them "Mosquito bites" so she was excited to take out her breast implant and whip it at him during this farewell BBQ my family held for us and ask him if he liked her new Mosquito bite. They died laughing and it was forever a joke between them right up to the week that she passed away.

 

 

She loved to travel.... all she talked about was the next destination on her list to soak up some ocean and rays... She met so many people who fell in love with her instantly because she was the personality that you wished she was your friend, sister, mother , aunt just anyone special in your life. the girl in the picture is just someone else she met along her travels. She was planning a last trip to Cuba as she knew it would be her last trip she was getting pretty low... she called me up one day and said that she had to cancel it she wasn't well enough to go and I could hear the heart break and disappointment over the phone from thousands of kilometers away. I told her maybe Cuba needed to come to her... I started planning from Saskatchewan a party to celebrate her life with all her friends and family while she was still with us "Beach Style" We bought all the decorations to make it feel like we were somewhere hot on a beach. Unfortunately she passed away before we could have the party with her but we still had the party and celebrated her life in her honour with hundreds of pictures on the walls for everyone to remember their special moments with her and I think it was a nice way for everyone to have some closure. Besides she was all about the party not the crying and would have been upset if we did it any other way.

 



She never let the cancer get in her way and was determined to fight a good fight and she had an amazing role model. Her mom battled cancer almost my entire life before she passed away and aunt Mel was her primary care giver. My Nan was also blind from a degenerative eye disease that she got at the age of 16. My Nan was a warrior too and she instilled so much strength and determination in all of us women in our family and aunt Mel lived by Nan's strength through it all. She was most concerned about being a burden to her friends & family and never asked for anything although she struggled to get through financially everyday after the cancer forced her out of the work force. It's crazy to me how forgotten you become in our society when your ill or elderly and have no resources to really help get you through the stress of being a single mom with two boys and cancer that's made it impossible for you to work to support your family. Strength, Determination & Courage~

 

The Nurses did this to her... she thought it was Hilarious she was always the chatty box so they taped her mouth shut she said. Her hospital visits we're so often for chemo treatments and blood analysis which she always shared on her facebook page so she could let us all know what was going on but not have to constantly be dragged down emotionally by calling us individually to tell the same thing over and over again. She never wanted to be unhappy and if she was she never wanted you to be unhappy because of what she was going through. Alot of our last conversations were through texting and facebook because she said she would break down the moment she heard my voice and I'm grateful now to have them to read over and over for the next 40 - 50 years when I need to be reminded of her crazy personality and her humour even when she knew her moments were limited.

 

This is her "New Man" my sister Korinna and her decided that he was useless trying to kill the 6hr hospital visit they had that day. She never took much seriously and decided everyday was to be fun and wacky.

 

My Aunt was able to travel the summer before she passed away as she was in alot of pain and discomfort and I was sure if I didn't ask her to come then she may never get the chance. We had an incredible week together exploring Saskatchewan and its beauty. This is a picture I took on one of  the Quadding excursions that just her and I did. This is on my neighbours property and one of my favourite places to go just to think and it always fills me up with the peace and tranquility and the pure astonishing beauty of the view. It is a very high hill that looks down on the North Saskatchewan River and its lush and peaceful. My husband and I bring camping chairs and sit there every season, doesn't matter the weather and we have seen many deer and animals who call this home. What a sight to see!!! She was just as taken by the beauty of it all... I have this picture on my wall in my master suite bathroom so that I can wake up to it everyday and go to bed to it every night with the quote "It's not how many breaths we take, but what takes our breath away" she said  to me that the view was so beautiful it took her breath away.

My aunt Mel was so many things for so many people during her short time here on this Earth. She touched so many hearts and left imprints on many of our souls. I know that it will be a long time to live without someone that special in your life but I know that she is embedded in my very core and she is with me with every thought, memory and lesson she blessed me in my life with her. There are so many who have and are still battling this and so many other diseases and it's something that changes not just their lives but everyone they love as well. If you are battling your demon keep fighting. BE STRONG... Live life everyday to the fullest...LAUGH...Share your thoughts and dreams and never stop playing.

 

My aunt Lived life with Inspiration ~ Courage ~ Grace

 

I love you to the Moon & back.... Forever & Always your Zenn Zenn

 

Melanie Gooding

Sunrise December 26, 1966

Sunset August 21, 2012