Thursday, April 11, 2013

My Knight in Shining Armour




I have learned what True unconditional Love is... Through a bond so strong created through growth and time. He has been the one stable and unwavering presence in my life and without him I truly would not be who and where I am today. My husband started his first vital role in my life as my friend and crush... He was playful and teasing and brought me out of my shell and made me feel things about myself I didn't know existed. He created HOPE in me that blossomed and became something I desperately wanted to hold on to. He made me feel pretty and funny and strong. I'm not sure why he was so attached to me and needing to help bring me out of my shell and work through the pain that I didn't verbally share with him or anyone else but I know it was written all over my face and my mannerisms... It still is today.
 
 
 
 



 
 
 
 





Steve took me on when he could have chosen any girl who was  not so damaged and unbalanced. I fought him always along the way and tried so many different ways to show him that I was not good enough or worth all the effort he was putting in. I was afraid of being loved... being let down... giving someone that much power over my heart... I made many mistakes along the way and tortured us both so unnecessarily... He never gave up even when it did change him and at times he did pull away and became bitter and distant and even hateful he always found his way back and thank god he fought so hard and made me believe that I was worth loving and being loved.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I was told by many that he was not good enough for me that I could do so  much better. I knew that I had found the best person I had ever met in my life who was full of so much love and compassion and he was so young and already understood so much more than the adults in my life. How could they possibly think that someone so incredible was not good enough for someone like me? I battled with believing in all my soul that I was the one truly not good enough for him and when he realized that he would leave me for someone who came from a better life and could offer him what I was unable to. That fear scared me to truly open myself up to him and led to so much jealousy and fear that he would leave me one day. I have struggled for years with that and every once in awhile that fear sneaks in and I have to CRUSH it or spiral into a place I know to be hard to get out of  for me.
 
 
 




 

 
I have spent our life together working very hard at being his equal and helping him create the life I feel we deserve. I never want him to look back and have regrets that he could have chosen someone else ... someone with less baggage and crap to work through... I have tried to help balance out the positive with working as hard as I could to help us get there to out weigh the negative and challenges that my past continuously makes us work through. Today we are the happiest that we have been ever.... I have made some serious changes and worked on my internal self. He is so proud of how far I have come and the changes I have made to get there and is supportive and my #1 rock as he always has been.
 
  
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
We have an amazing relationship based on friendship and we challenge each other always. We have accomplished so much together and have given our children a lifestyle that I could only have dreamed of. We make a very strong committed team and I am so proud of who we are today. We love to travel and we make sure that we do as much travelling for just the two of us as we do take the kids along. Our children enjoy travelling just as much and our very active and love to explore. We love the outdoors and own a trailer on a lake close by our home which we spend allot of time together there just the two of us (the kids are older and don't care to go all the time). In the last 11 years in Saskatchewan our relationship has blossomed and has become unbreakable. We have learned so much about one anothers strengths and weaknesses and have encouraged growth in each other without the interference of the negative influences that were destroying us when we lived closer to our family.




 
 
 
 
 
I know that no matter what life trials and tribulations he will always be there to hold me and catch me when I'm falling. He is so sensitive and nurturing and kind and giving... He is everything that I could have dreamed of having in my life, I know that he is my soul mate and I will never find another true love... This is my one and only for this lifetime... I am grateful for everyday that I have this man in my life and feel blessed that he chose me to be in his everyday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrpB6U7WICA Love like Crazy

 
 
 
 
 
When you find a person that you are able to be 100% your true self with ... when you have no fear of sharing your every thought or expressions with... When you can share your dreams and aspirations and never feel judged or silly or looked down upon. When you can make decisions that never pan out and you fail time and time again and never be judged for not following through with it. When you can quit and give up on the world around you and spiral downwards and they are there for you time and time again to bring you back from the darkness and lift you up higher than the last time and continuously give you hope and strength you better hang on to that person and cherish them and make them feel like they are the most important thing in the entire world because they Truly are.



 
 

 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2E9XX7fKwJA  - She's Everything to me
 
My Incredible husband is not an Incredible singer... ;) but I love when this song comes on he sings it with passion and I feel the love in his voice and to me in that moment is the most Incredible singer in the entire world! He has an amazing way of making me feel like I am everything that matters in this crazy world. Like he would do anything to see me smile and to make me happy and giggle. He loves to see joy in me and has done so many things over the years to make that possible for me. I feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world now because of this Beautiful man who adores me and wants nothing but for me to have Hope, confidence, strength, determination and to know that I deserve to be loved and cherished and adored.





 



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNZH-emehxA You're still the one

 
 
I spend a great deal of time nurturing my soul with music... It speaks  to my very core and I spend allot of time alone singing my heart out when no one can hear me... I do allot of crying which feels cleansing for me... I choose songs and artists that touch me.. I chose all the songs in this blog because they mean something to me and make me think of "My Knight in Shining Armour" and what he means to me and what our relationship means to both of us and some of the things we have been through and conquered together. I sang "You're Still the One" by Shania Twain at our weeding reception while Steve sat on a chair in the middle of the dance floor ... Most of the friends and family in the room had never heard me sing or even knew that I was very good at it... I sang from my heart & soul and for the first time singing the lyrics to this song I didn't cry like a baby. It was a message  to those in the room who had tried to tell us that we would never make it in life... that we were not meant to be together ... that we made it and we beat the odds and the challenges they all put in our way. I was determined to prove to them that they didn't know anything about US or who we were as a couple and it was my private vow to him that we were better and stronger and that we had taken their challenge head on and we were fighters and our love persevered above all... It was a surprise gift to him and he sat there in total awe and that was the best gift that he could have given me... His pure amazement that I had done something so brave in front of everyone in our lives. There was not dry eye in the room...
 
 
The first song we ever danced to.....






3 comments:

  1. and I see the way u 2 r together and I can feel ur love for one another...U 2 r very special to us all and glad that u have proven everyone wrong and made it all work...Love u woman

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  2. P.S love the songs, pics and beautiful sayings..xox

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  3. Thanks Darlin... you have a love just as meaningful... they are two peas in a pod! xo J~

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